psych ward
Just take this pill and you'll be fine You will stop crying all the time I'm sitting still, a dead glance ahead, trying to run from my own head My body and I, two entities apart, functioning me into admission to a psych ward It never stops but I can't run for my legs aren't able to get much done My cold hands tremble and my breathing never slows I have a suspicion this is how a slow and painful death goes I'm just an animal in the zoo, endangered and alone Caged up and supervised gnawing on a bone I never fought the occupation, I won't resist more medication The voices scream and wail but no one gets to listen The zookeepers are losing sleep looking for hours at me weep The guilt seeps in and I can't believe how far we've sunk I guess this crisis is just my terrible luck Please turn it off and toss me away, don't let me see the light of day I can't. Please believe me that I can't. My body and mind have agreed, it has gotten out of hand. Words written on paper with smudges of my vulnerability I'll sit and stare, pray to the holy trinity But my pleas are never answered, God is up there dancing to the mere tune of my sorrow instead of kindly answering. Out of office guardian
You held my hand at convenient times and told me when I had to smile My out of office guardian, all you had to do was look and see right through my wounded eyes Air filled up with ashes every night you made me cry you left your child alone and scared, shaking, wondering why Why couldn't you see all the crimes he committed that I wouldn't hide? Why wouldn't you catch me selling another badly worded lie? Why didn't you consider that you left me there with him to die? I beg of you, tell me why you didn't seem to try? never forget
Time has made me forget dozens of birthdays, names of pets All of the chapters and texts I had read and what toys I would keep in my bed But one thing that will never leave my head is that one pair of eyes I one day met my best friend
The way your face felt in my hands The way your tears melt all that's left inside my chest The way your hair would dance The way you were the very best My very best, bestest of friends Where did our story end? Separated by unholy distances and unfulfilled plans Surrounded by ashes and empty cans And your favourite pair of vans Do you feel the same land beneath your feet? Are you where you promised you went? If only I could hit send, tell you one last hug is all I need Give me a sign, reassure me your heart still beats. Would you? Could you? Please? starve
My slowly sinking collarbones Drowning in your ignorance Your not so well considered words Truly show indifference Teach me how to hate myself It wouldn't be coincidence The day you insisted I should starve Took away my innocence waiting room
The decorated waiting room I'm late again, per usual To cure my pain and handle my addictions Tears as rain your unstable convictions I beg of you don't show them the pictures My screen shows me your name Would you remember my innocent smile? My fingers tremble as I sit in the pile of wood Watching the flame and ashes go by As I tell myself a comforting lie Agonizing pain travels through my bones at the sound of your voice You left me no choice but to scream and wail Unfulfilled dreams shattered on the ground around us please, would you learn to trust me? mean or nice
The decorated waiting room I get that you don't remember the things that you ignored, but was your only reason to kiss me 'cause you were bored? I'll try to resist, to fight and persist to refuse you more, but you looked so kind when your fingers reached mine and pushed me down on the floor The look of violence in your eyes, the sharp brows that I despise looking at me and trying to decide wether to be mean or nice. Time flies when you're having fun but it tries to slow when you're on the run towards the rising sun. My existence was a lie And as my life was flashing by I wondered why you couldn't try To hold me when you made me cry A black abyss staring back at me, trying to find a better we and everything you could ever be. It leaves me wondering and scared what I would've done if I was prepared. Would you have dared? |
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